Kids these days...

Today is one of those days, where I question what is the world coming to and how am I supposed to do my part to make sure my kids don't get lost along the way. It started with grading exams. I am constantly amazed at the lack of effort conveyed by many people as far as their school work goes. As a college teacher, I'm hit in the face every semester with students who don't understand that it's not an acceptable excuse to "not be good at math". I won't get on my soap box about the comment in of itself being ridiculous. But somehow college age students going in to nursing programs and pre-med programs still have the idea that by using this excuse, I'm somehow going to take pity on them and just let them slide by. NO! If you can't pass a basic statistics class, I don't want you hooking up IV's full of who knows what to any body, I don't want you to be telling someone how many grams, (Oops! Should have been Milli-grams) of drugs to take. It's not safe.

Believe me, I have a heart for those who try. I know those people who are going to the tutoring lab and coming by during office hours to get help. These people will survive my class. It's the people who still think things should be handed to them on a plate. Just a note if a teacher is nice enough to give you a review day, DO NOT come in and ask "What's going to be on the exam?" and expect any answer other than something like "The materials covered in Chapters 1-6." Every semester, I go through the same thing. I somehow forget that these students aren't like me. They aren't sitting in their seats intimidated by the teacher in the front of the classroom. They aren't paralyzed by the idea of getting a B on an exam. And they aren't keeping tabs on homework assignments making sure not to miss a single one. I mean, can you imagine just not turning in a homework assignment? Incomprehensible. Maybe they've had teachers in the past that actually told them what was going to be on the exam.

So in addition to this little trip of craziness while grading (by the way, I stopped half-way through to let my anger subside before I continue), I was listening to KLOVE. I like the nice music in the background. So the DJ starts talking about how his daughter is hoping to stay on green so that she gets pancakes the following morning. Then he posed the question of how do you get your kids motivated to stay on green. (For those of you without young children around you in elementary school, apparently the newest system of getting your name on the board, like it was when I was in school, includes a green light which gets taken away for misbehavior, so that you then have a yellow light, more misbehavior gets a red light.) Then I started wondering, since when did kids need extra motivation to stay on green. Again, shouldn't the fear of getting to yellow be enough?! I know that I never wanted to get my name on the board, and didn't want my parents to hear about it even more.

So what has happened? And before those of you with small children get defensive about the tactics you use to get your kids to behave, I just want to clarify that I'm looking for answers. I want to raise Chaselyn to be the kid that stays on green because that's what's expected. Not the kid that is usually on yellow and feels entitled to some treat for being on green. I want to know how our parents seemed to have raised us with a respectable fear that now seems lacking. My mom always jokes that it was that she and my dad actually spanked me and so I was afraid. But I wasn't afraid of getting my butt whooped if I didn't make good grades. Spanking was for misbehavior, and really bad misbehavior from what I remember. Not a daily occurrence, just something to really make me think when things did not go as they should have. I think academically, most of my motivation came from trying to live up to my brothers. But why did they do well? And I know other families who didn't spank, and they raised smart, respectable kiddos too. So what are kids today missing? Is it too much self-esteem and not enough hard lessons of disappointment? Is it too many parents trying to be the cool parents and sacrificing discipline? Is it too many toys and overstimulation?

I need answers people! Chaselyn is growing too fast for me to wait to much longer to figure this stuff out. She already just laughs at my serious face when she's grabbing something she shouldn't.

T minus 2 months - updated

Yeah, so I'm a little late. But to be fair, I told you I would be and hopefully my pictures were enough to hold you over for the full report. So Chaselyn is over 10 months old now and has recently added a few notables to her precious moments/ achievements list.

First the run down. She still weighs about 21 pounds and eats her weight in food on a daily basis. Well, at least it seems that way. She has completely shunned baby food. I can still get her to take some baby fruits, but it's usually not worth the mess since she just wants to grab the spoon. She eats the school meals now. They are sometimes modified for the little munchkins, but it's really big girl food. Will eat almost anything, but definitely has a hierarchy of favorite foods. She will pick out her favorite from the food offered to her, and then go to the next food. If there is any kind of fruit available it's going first, followed by pasta, then meats, then veggies. Holly loves that Chaselyn is feeding herself. She's a good clean up dog. Chaselyn sleeps pretty regularly from 7:30-5. She's had some ear infection issues, so I'm hoping once those are all cleared up, she'll go back to the 7:30 - 7.

Now for the good stuff. People, my baby can stand!!! Two weeks ago, it was for a couple seconds if she was distracted by tv or something. Now it's more like 5 seconds when she wants to. She's also taken her first steps. I think if she could control herself, she would be gone. But she gets so excited about the possibility of walking, her little chubby legs can't keep up with her cute belly taking the lead. She falls and laughs and laughs. It's too precious! She's becoming much more deliberate about her playtime as well. She can focus in on one toy and really study it and play with it and figure out how she can get the most fun out of it. Of course after she's done exploring a toy, she still tends to default to gnawing on the nearest remote or wiimote.

She did get to move up to the Babies II class. She made a trip home to Arkansas over Labor day weekend and attended her 3rd wedding. Her second cousin Christina was a beautiful bride. The ceremony was precious, Chaselyn mainly ate cheerios through it to stay quiet. The reception was pretty great too. I wish I had pictures, but all the pictures are on my dad's camera back in AR. She also took her first open tub bath while in AR. And she added her first football game this past weekend, but technically that's part of next months recap, but I couldn't wait to post the picture at the top. It will probably make an appearance next month too.

So to sum it all up, 21 lbs., first steps, and a happy baby! What more could a mommy want?!

Oh, I forgot to mention a couple of adorable things our sweet baby does. She loves to be pushed around on her little Pooh Bear Airplane. It wears Mommy and Daddy out, but the smiles and laughter are well worth it. Also, when we play the music on her See & Say ( you know... pull the handle, "The cow says MOO!") she does a little dance. If she's sitting, she kind of bounces her upper body. If she's standing, she'll bend her legs a little. We've yet to catch her doing it on video, but it's precious.

10 month picture page

I'll post a narrative later about Chaselyn's 10 month old developments, but for now, here's some pictures from the past month. The ones in the green dress with flowers are from her first day in the Babies II class. When they start crawling around, they get moved up.


Mommy and Daddy each take a photo-op before we leave.




Her new big girl carseat, happy because she's playing with Daddy's keys.

On the Bye-Bye buggy ready to be picked up.


Having fun with Mommy!


College football back in season! Wooooooo Pig Sooiee!!!


Playing around.

Taken this morning before school, she wasn't really wanting a photo shoot, she mainly wanted to eat the camera.

Crying over milk

Today I cried in the parking lot of Chaselyn's daycare. And as I type, I'm tearing up more. Why? Because this morning I had only one bottle of Mommy milk to leave with Chaselyn at daycare. So I dropped her off and I was feeling fine, but I had to make a trip to the store to buy some formula to take back to her. As I walked into the store, I fought back tears and kept myself composed. I walked to the baby aisle, where I found no less than 15 different kinds of formula. Some were way expensive (more than $27 per can), some were specially formulated for lactose intolerant, some were organic, some were soy, some had special additives, and some were just plain. As I stood and scanned the options, I remembered once again why breast-feeding had been the choice for me. I finally decided on the store brand (HEB) with added DHA and ARA which are apparently the lipids that help make breastmilk so healthy.

Anyway, I got back in the truck and headed to the daycare. I was still doing fine, reminding myself over and over again that I was lucky to be able to rely solely on breastmilk for so long. Some people can't even do it in the beginning. And I'm not giving up on breastfeeding, I'm just having to supplement with formula. I went in and gave them the can and the daycare worker said thanks, and said Chaselyn would be fine. I wasn't so sure seeing as how she was crying in the floor. But she was hungry, and they were waiting to see if I was coming back with the formula soon enough so that they could give her the breastmilk bottle before her nap to help her sleep better. And as the lady walked away to help some kids and I walked to the door to leave, I started to lose it. I hurried to my truck and let it all go. I cried a cry that I haven't in a long time. I was heaving and sobbing. I'm sure being tired and all that didn't help much either. But I had a good cry and after I got it all out I felt a lot better.

Now, I'm focusing in on what I'm supposed to be learning from this. It's really not the end of the world. I know that I did everything I could to get more milk, it just wasn't there. I'm not a failure. I know that God is in control and I know that He has a reason. I know that everytime I make a plan, it seems to blow up in my face and something better than I could have imagined comes out of it. I know that Chaselyn will continue to grow and be healthy. So now, I'm not fighting the tears. I'm trusting that there is a reason and a silver lining. And I'm praising God for the nearly 10 months that I was able to satisfy my baby without having to outsource.

Moo 2

Same disclaimer as original Moo post. This is mainly about breastfeeding, so if you won't be able to look at me in the face after hearing some personal stuff, please skip today's reading.

Chaselyn is over 9 months old now. And I'm still breastfeeding. And I am proud of myself for that. It was my goal to make it to the 1 year mark so that she could transition from mommy milk to cow milk without having to go the formula middle man. And I think I just might make it. It hasn't been easy. But it's worth it to see how healthy and chubby she is.

Let me start first by giving an update on my previous post and give some ideas as to how that worked itself out. First we had the head turning (read nipple pulling). Chaselyn still has this issue. But as time goes on, she has learned to let go before turning her head or trying to get up. Now she still looks around, but she lets go first. Second, with the leakiness. That stopped not too much later. I haven't worn the protectors in quite a while now. I can't remember exactly when it stopped, but I guess my body kind of got itself under control. For those of you entering this stage of life, I recommend the Lansinoh brand. But it's a very personal thing. And finally as for the timing issue. Once Chaselyn got on a schedule, I didn't really have to make decisions, I just had to be prepared. It's still a time commitment, but it's generally more regulated. She's sleeping good from about 8-5 now, so I'm more rested. But as far as fixing dinner and having a hot meal, I still haven't figured that one out. I thought that would change once she was on baby food, not just milk, but it didn't. And I find that I don't really mind too much.


So, what are the new issues? The biggest one is stress! I am often consumed by the state of my milk production. As Chaselyn began to eat more and more baby food and less mommy milk, I was relieved. I thought that I could relax since I was producing more than enough than what she required. So, I got lazy. I didn't pump as much. I relied on some of the stored bags to get me through. And now, I'm paying for it. I have no spares left. Everyday I have to pump 3 full 5 oz. bottles so she can get through the day at daycare. On Tuesday I went to bed with only 2 bottles in the fridge. Determined to not make my baby have formula, I diligently set the alarm clock for 2 am so that I could pump and then maybe with another pumping in the morning before we left for school I owuld have enough. Unfortunately, I woke up at 5 to the sound of Chaselyn crying not to the alarm I was supposed to hear. She was easy to soothe back to sleep, just a paci and some back pats and she was good. But me, I was crying. I missed the opportunity to pump earlier, and I was sure that my sources would be depleted. But I pumped and there was luckily enough to fill the 3rd bottle. Praise God! All that to say, if you're not there yet, keep pumping even when you think you're getting ahead. Just get further ahead. It's not worth the stress to have to worry every night before you go to sleep if your baby will have enough milk the next day. Also, be aware that when your monthlies do come back, your milk supply may drop just preceeding the event. It happened to me, I checked online, apparently it's very common for it to happen.

Issue #2 - Teeth. Yep, that's right. I have honestly never felt so conflicted than when I realized Chaselyn's teeth were coming through. I was so happy that she was growing and reaching such an important milestone, but I also dreaded the thought of those little chompers settling in for a nice meal on my already very tender nips.
But, I had to go through with it, and I'm happy to report that the same God who designed the whole milk production system also designed babies to not bite while they nurse. Again Praise God for His infinite wisdom! Not to say that there's no slip ups, but they're few and far between and for Chaselyn these incidences usually only occur when she's mostly asleep and twitches herself awake. I can't lie though, when they do accidentally bite you, it's hard not to throw the baby out of your arms. It HURTS! And your instinctual reaction is to remove the cause of the pain.

Another major issue that I've run into is how to introduce other foods. Everyone seems to have an opinion, and yet there's no real clear answers. I desperately wanted someone to lay it all out for me. At age ______ introduce ____ ounces of ________ food, and then try ______. Instead I found a myriad of different options. As a very by the book type of person, I went nuts when there was no by the book guideline. But, it seems to have all worked out ok. Chaselyn's now working on finger foods on a limited basis. And loves it.

This next one kind of goes along with the first. Whoever said "Don't cry over spilled milk." Was obviously not a nursing mom. Spilling isn't the problem so much as spoiling. Just to add to my stress level every now and then, my subconscious decides to forget about milk of a while and instead I leave it sitting in my bag, on the cabinet, or some other random place that's not the refrigerator. The thought of loosing milk is absolutely heartbreaking. Not too long ago, Stanton with a sheepish look on his face said "You accidentally left your milk on the counter and it spoiled." I nearly cried. Then I thought about it, what milk, it wasn't the weekend, I didn't pump. He didn't mean my mommy milk, he meant my cow's milk (I drink 2%, he drinks skim). Well who cares, I can go buy some more cow's milk any time. Crisis averted. But there have been other occasions where it was the Mommy milk and I had to hold back the tears as I poured the precious liquid down the drain.
Some things that I've learned.
1) Masking tape and a marker work just as well for dating as any fancy labels for bottles.
2) It never gets old to be the one who can comfort your baby best.
3) Breastfeeding is not for those on the fence. It takes a lot of determination and sacrifice. And even that sometimes isn't enough.
4) I'll never understand how single moms can make it.
5) I can see the amazing work of God everyday, and that is good for the soul.
6) Babies are not nearly as fragile as they appear to be (just don't hit the self-destruct button on the top of their heads).
7) Our idea of "normal" changes on a daily basis, which would make it seem that there is no "normal".
8) It's hard to squeeze in enough quality time between getting off work at 5 and Chaselyn going to sleep around 8.
9) Even when Chaselyn is throwing a fit, it's amazing to try to remember before she was born and think about how empty life was.
10 A friend said it best "The days may be long, but the years are short." I can't believe we only have 2.5 months until Chaselyn's first birthday.

Growing up and growing old

Well, if you haven't been hit smack dab in the face with this lately, let me bring you into my world...No matter what you do, people will continue to age and change and grow. For some, this realization is hitting as we near 10 year high school reunions. For some, sending kids off to school or off to college has brought up feelings that we don't quite know what to do with. And for others, it's aging parents or grandparents that bring to light the all too fragile nature of life.

For me, it's mostly been the kids. As posted previously, my sister just started college classes this week. It's weird to think of her living in the same dorm I did, attending classes in the same buildings. Wasn't I way more mature when I went to college? Didn't I know more? Surely my baby sister isn't ready for the craziness of college. But she is. And I wasn't nearly as mature as I thought I was at the time. And I certainly didn't know as much as I thought I did. Everyday I come more and more convinced that I really know nothing. In spite of this, I too started classes this week at the front of the classroom. And about halfway through my lecture, I was discussing how statistics is used in virtually every field of study. A particular example suddenly took me off guard. Stereograms. Or to those of us who actually remember the 90's, remember the Magic-Eye 3D books? As I used this example, I realized that these were popularized in the mid-90's which means some of my students and my sister were only about 3-5. Even the youngest ones said that they remembered, but I had to question it. And if I stick with this teaching stuff, people will just give me a weird look when I mention it in a few more years.

Many people around me are dealing with the same kind of issues. Back to school time has brought on a flood of mommy's letting their babies go. For some they're sending their precious ones to big kids school for the first time. Some sent their angels to the next grade and a new year full of excitement. And some, loaded up cars, trucks, and trailers full of living supplies and toted their not-so-little tots to college. Where they'll stay and not come home for afternoon snacks everyday. And I'm left here sitting wondering how? How do they do it? How will I do it? How did God design such a perfect and powerful love between parents and children?

And today just topped it all off when I dropped Chaselyn off this morning, I got a note saying she would be moved up to the "Babies 2 -Walkers" class tomorrow. My baby is not a walker, but they think she's well on her way, and I know it's true. I also know she's growing. We did some back to school shopping (actually it was these clothes don't fit any more shopping) for Chaselyn and I was very disappointed to learn that there is a big shift in baby clothes at 12 months. They don't have the little footy pajamas in size 12 months (thanks to a tip I found some at the Carter's outlet in Hillboro). They have small versions of big girl clothes, and I like the little bright colored dresses that she has. Now everything for the fall is brown and pink. I don't like it. I don't like brown. It's a good color if your baby has a diaper accident, but it's not good all the time.

And that's where I'm at today. Loathing the life process and wondering if God will just let me hit pause for a little while so I can enjoy this time in life a little longer before it slips away. And on that note, I leave you with this. Just blur your eyes a little, you'll get the message. ;)

9 months old

Our little angel is growing up fast. She's hit a couple of big milestones just in the last month. Despite my predictions, she started crawling on all fours (with her belly off the floor). Now she's even better at pulling up on things. Chaselyn's favorite toys are car keys and a Wii-mote. Not any of the wonderful baby toys we have for her or the countless number of stuffed animals, it's the big people toys that she likes the best. This has been somewhat of a headache for Mommy, but Daddy likes them because she'll sit still with him if she has one of her favorite toys. The Wii-mote is fine, it has a nice rubber grip thing around it, so as long as she chews on that, it's fine. But the car keys just don't seem like the best toy for a baby. I tried to find some of those little plastic keys like we had when we were little, but you can't find them anywhere. I found something they called play keys at target, but they aren't key shaped, they're round with key shapes indented on them. Chaselyn was not fooled. But other than the occasional breakdown from having the keys taken away, she's doing great.

We went to the doctor yesterday, and she's 21 lbs, and 27.75 inches long. Her head size is still off the charts, but take a look at her dad, and that's no surprise. You might notice a slight orangish tint to her nose, that's because she still loves her carrots, squash, and sweet potatoes. This month she started on 3rd foods. A success except for the spaghetti and meat sauce. She also got her first taste of fruits...bananas for breakfast, yum.


She also got a treat and started on some big people food for her 9 month birthday. She got some ham pieces and some peas. She did really good with picking up the little pieces and chewing. And she broke in her new high chair.
One of the most amazing new developments is in her language skills. She's getting good at "Momma" and "Ba-bye". Her timing isn't quite there yet, but it's coming. And with he "Ba-bye" there's usually a flap with her right arm. She's also working on the "Ga" sound.


We had some great adventures this past month too. Uncle Josh, Aunt Heather, and cousins Matthew and Madison came for a visit. We went to a family reunion on Mount Magazine where Chaselyn met lots of new people and caught up with some she had met before. We even hiked up to the highest point between the Rockies and the Appalachian mountains. On another visit to Arkansas, we went to the Grape Festival in Tontitown and rode the a carousel for the first time.

Chaselyn,

You are growing up so fast! Everyday you do something new and amazing. You give good hugs and kisses, which melt your Daddy's heart every time, and Mommy just can't get enough. We love to see your personality develop as we watch you interact with other kids. It seems that you may be kind of a bully like your Mommy was when she was little. You're always going for the toys that someone else has. And, you're not afraid to pull some hair or ears or whatever else you can get a hold of to get it. Other than that, you have the sweetest disposition. You are very happy and usually pretty content playing by yourself. You sing little songs and talk to your toys as you play and discover. When you get tired of your toys, you cruise around the living room looking to get a taste of any electronic gadget that we've left within your reach.

More than anything, your Daddy and Mommy want you to know how much you are loved. We are constantly amazed at the deep love that we have for you even though in reality we've only known you for a short time. And we're not the only ones. Your fan base stretches for many miles and several states. Of course your grandparents are thrilled to see you grow and your Aunts and Uncles are too. And at the family reunion, you were the hit of the show. Closer to home, there is an awesome group of people who look after you and are a great support network for the three of us.

You are amazing, and never let anyone tell you any different.

Love,
Us