Monday, April 27, 2009

Chaselyn's first food

As promised, pictures and video. The first two pics are Chaselyn on her first picnic. She laid on the blanket while mommy & daddy ate some grilled chicken. Notice the accessories. We tried the hat and glasses together, but it was just too much.

Now a pic from Dia del Oso with her friend Carolline.

And finally Chaselyn's first taste of food from a spoon. Daddy was happy to finally get in on some of the feeding action.


Like I said, I was a little bothered by Stanton not jumping to help last night, so it comes across as him being the point of contention. This was not what I meant. The point was supposed to be how I felt bad about not always wanting to feed my own child. Stanton was essentially an innocent bystander who was able to take the brunt of my frustrations. He generally does a good job of helping out when he can. He's just not used to being able to help with feedings. Also he did a MARVELOUS job on Saturday morning and got up with Chaselyn at 7:30 and let me sleep until around 10:30. Which was a much needed sleep catch up for me.

So in summary, Stanton is a wonderful husband and dad. And his wonderfulness is exemplified by putting up with his crazy wife who often takes things out on him for no apparent reason.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Guilt trip

So, I sat down to blog tonight (My apologies if anyone really missed my ramblings) without any real direction. It was going to be a post just to catch you all up on what's going on in our world. Chaselyn starting rice cereal (video to be posted soon), Chaselyn's first picnic (pictures to be posted soon), and a great Dia del Oso (all of these pictures/video are on our new video camera, which is in Stanton's office, I'll try to remember to take the transfer cord tomorrow) is basically what we've been doing. All of this was going to be primarily a pictorial, and I don't have the pictures to put in, but I figured I could go ahead and set things up so that pictures could be easily inserted to make an interesting post. But before I could even finish the second sentence, inspiration hit me. Well, actually, Chaselyn's noises turned from happy and playful to sad and bothered. As I sat in the recliner with my laptop in hand, Stanton stood in the same room with a plan to start working out (not actually put into action yet). Guess who went to get Chaselyn out of her exersaucer? To be fair, he did ask her if she was hungry and then looked in my general direction, since I am generally the food source. But since we started her on cereal, it was about the time for her cereal meal, which he could do all on his own.

I got a little perturbed as you might be able to tell. But it wasn't just that. It was compounded by the fact that during the last feeding time, Chaselyn got hungry right as I got my food on my plate, and at lunch guess who was holding a bottle while her pasta got cold. I am convinced that Chaselyn has been ready for real food for a couple of months. Every time she smells hot food, she immediately gets hungry. It's like a sixth sense. And I know it's not actually all the time, but when it happens repeatedly in the same day, it wears on you. And then I feel guilty for being bothered by taking care of such a sweet angel. (And on the side, this is why I really doubt my abilities to be a stay-at-home mom) But as long as I get a chance to hold her when she's being sweet and calm and happy, I'm usually fixed.

Sometimes it's harder than I want it to be. Sometimes its not so much hard, but frustrating. And I get that guilty feeling when I get frustrated or upset. And I hate it. But I try, and that's all I can do. But now, it's late and I just got my sweet baby in bed. I'm listening to her kick around as she falls asleep.

Good night everyone! Pictures will be posted tomorrow, one way or another.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

A little about my family...

Yesterday I signed up for a parenting website (thanks MA!) which has all kinds of different activities to do with your child. And it's supposed to be activities that you can do with stuff you have on hand. As far as I can tell, it seems like there's enough to do a different activity everyday for the first 5 years of your child's life. And it seems very organized.

Anyway, that's not the point. You have to sign up on the website in order to have access to all the different activities. So I did and then it asked me to fill in a little profile information. The typical stuff, who are you and where did you come from. But then it had a blank for "A little about my family...". My family?...MY family!!! It was the first time that someone had asked about my family and I didn't feel the need to talk about my mom and dad, my brothers and sister, and my in-laws. It wants to know about my immediate family. Just the three of us! I had realized the shift before and that we were now a family. But I don't think I have ever instinctively talked about Stanton and Chaselyn and not the family that I have known the previous 27 years of my life. It nearly made me cry...ok, ok, I did cry, but only a little.

Some people may say that Stanton and I were a family before we got married. And to that I say it was more that Stanton and I joined each others families when we were married. We were a married couple, not a family. But now, in another amazing feat for a baby, she has made us a family. How spectacular!!!

The profile went on to ask about family traditions. Our little family isn't well established in this area. Most traditions that I think of are linked to holidays. And in that area, we are still primarily entrenched in our extended family traditions. Chaselyn is only 5 months old, it's hard to really establish traditions that quickly. But the question got me to thinking about what kind of traditions our family will have. Day-to-day traditions like sitting around the table to eat, bedtime routines, cuddle time, etc. need to start early. Other traditions like summer vacations, holiday festivities, birthday rituals, and other special treats will be developed along the way.

I would love to expand our horizons as far as traditions go. All we know now is what our families do. If you have some time, leave a comment on some of your favorite family traditions. I want Chaselyn to have those special kinds of memeories to carry with her when she has a family of her own one day.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Happy baby

Chaselyn is really growing! I especially notice how big she is already when I put her in her carseat in the morning. I remember how little she was when we first brought her home. We needed extra padding around her head and her little feet were no where near the edge of the seat. But now, she's HUGE. We figure she's about 17.5 lbs by now and over 25 inches long. Although she won't be 5 months old until Thursday, she's already wearing the 6-9 month old clothes.

And it's not just her physical growth that's so amazing, it's her mental growth too. She has quite the intense focus face. Her brow gets all wrinkled and she gets this intense stare and you know she's really trying learn and take it all in. It makes me worry about what all she's seeing already. But she laughs and babbles and coos. She just started making rasberry sounds, but hasn't quite perfected them. So it's still amazingly cute when I can catch one.

Have I mentioned that I love being a mom?! It's so amazing! It's a feeling unlike any other. For example...the past few nights Chaselyn has regressed back to needing food every two hours. It's really starting to wear on me. I'm real tired. But no matter how much I don't sleep, no matter how much she kicks me while she's eating, no matter how many times she wakes me up, I wouldn't have it any other way. A little smile, a little laugh and it just makes all my frustrations melt away. It's the most amazing thing. Believe me, I usually don't let go so easily. It's insane really. I am not looking forward to the time when I have to enforce any kind of discipline. It's going to take some real will power. I'll worry about those mommy instincts kicking in later. For now its all about the sweet baby.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Hippity, Hoppity Easter's on it's way!

Hooray!! I love holidays! Any holiday that gives me time to spend with my family is always welcome. And Easter fits that description. We will be leaving this afternoon for a 4 day weekend trip to Arkansas. The trip will be filled with family, baseball, and good food. I'm so looking forward to it all. You see, my love language is QUALITY TIME, and it seems to be that way for my whole family. So, thats why I always look forward to going home, and long for the day when we can move back to the hills of Arkansas.

Yesterday, we kicked off the Easter festivities with a visit with the Easter bunny. On of the sororities held a egg hunt for the faculty and staff. Chaselyn went in her beautiful Easter dress and was mostly oblivious to what was going on. But, we got her picture with the sad looking bunny and the somewhat scary looking Easter Baylor bear (the mascot guy with some bunny ears on his head). But we were also able to get some pictures of the pretty baby among some easter eggs and flowers. I wish I could post pictures, but we are currently unable to pull pictures off of Stanton's camera, because we lost the card reader :(.

Obviously there is much more to celebrate about Easter than just family. There is so much more than bunnies, baskets, eggs, and candy. Easter is the day we celebrate victory over the grave. We take time to reflect on the amazing events that transpired 2000 years ago during this three day period. The anguish and pain that He bore so that we may be forgiven and have everlasting life. The ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate gift.

I am often guilty of getting wrapped up in the commercialism of holidays. And now that we have our sweet little angel, I want to buy her one of everything. But then after I get home from the store, I look at Chaselyn. I see God's amazing design in her amazing smile and cute chubby legs. I feel the love that I have as a mother and get a little glimpse of the love our Father has for us. And I know that above all, my job is to make sure that this precious being before me comes to know God and love Him for all that He has done. How blessed are we. That we can live on this earth and still be allowed to befriend the King of kings.

Happy Easter to you all! May God bless you and your family during this Easter holiday and throughout the year.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog!

Warning, the video you are about to watch has an extremely catchy tune and it will stick in your head all day. But in my opinion it's totally cute and makes me smile.

Yes, Stanton and I have already started Chaselyn on a healthy dose of morning cartoon watching. Really, she only watches them for about 15 minutes at most in the morning. It's what she does while we get our bags packed and stuff in the morning. Before we were treated to My Friends Tigger and Pooh. But Disney changed the line-up and it looks like we'll be hearing the hot dog song before we leave for work in the mornings. I'm honestly embarassed that we have Chaselyn watching cartoons so early, but it's really cute to watch her watch them. If she's sitting in her Bumbo seat, she looks like such the little person. She has that intense stare watching the colors move across the screen. You can tell she's taking it all in. Sometimes she likes to respond to the characters by laughing, squealing, or just babbling. It's pretty neat!

While I feel a bit of embarassment for entertaining Chaselyn in such a way, I then realize that I should probably be more embarassed that I'm using her as an excuse for me to watch kiddie cartoons. It will be a while before she understands what is going on, but in the meantime I can laugh at the silliness of it all! I found myself "participating" with the cartoons on a couple of occasions already, of course only for Chaselyn's sake.

I don't remember much of my childhood. Actually, I don't remember much of anything, so kids cartoons are giving me a link to my past. I mostly remember a little of Sesame Street and then beyond that I think the tv was mostly under the control of my older brothers watching things like "G.I. Joe", "Pro-Stars", and "He-Man". Just wait until Chaselyn is old enough to watch the great cartoons like "CareBears", "My Little Pony", "Strawberry Shortcake", etc. I'll be buying up seasons of classics on DVDs. I do not appreciate the remakes that they have done from what I've seen so far. I haven't paid much attention to the older kid cartoons, but from what I can tell, they're all Anime type stuff. :( I'm not too sure about all of that.

Anyway, I'll just take it one step at a time for now and enjoy a Hot Dog Day!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Picture Page a Picture Page

All I have is pictures for now, which is good since I haven't posted any in a while. Sorry for the delay.

She found her feet!!

Daddy fixed the seat on her exersaucer and she L-O-V-E-S it!!

Holding my baby holding her baby :)

Stanton said she wouldn't want this one broadcast on the world wide web when she was 15, but I asked her if I could post it and I got an even bigger smile.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Random News Stories

Over the past week or so, I've come across some interesting/ bizarre/ absurd news stories that I feel everyone should know of.

1) The most disgustingly ginormous burger and the dietician who thinks it needs a health warning label.

First, the burger. I guss someone was sitting around and thought "You know what this burger could use? A frito chili pie on top and 4 friends just like it. And as far as the dietician wanting a warning label, I'm pretty sure all ballpark food comes with an implied health warning. And, I think that someone not having a clue that 5 beef patties, 5 slices of cheese, chili , topped with salsa and corn chips is not a healthy choice to make could be just the evidence needed to take any question out of the whole survival of the fittest idea.

2) Two words - Motorized Barstool

I'm sure that 28 year old Kile Wygle never really thought that building a barstool that goes 38 mph would end good. I'm sure that the whole time he was just looking for a good time and a good story. And I'm sure that when he was finally charged with a DUI, he wasn't really that surprised. And so in my mind, I'm going to think of this situation as a guy who understood how ridiculous the idea was and did it all for the many laughs to come.

3) Porno to show in the University of Maryland theater - not so fast you hooligans!

I don't know which is more disturbing, the comment that they were going to show the porno "to provide students with an alternative to late-night drinking and other dangerous activities" or the fact that this is the first news story about this since apparently several colleges have screened pornographic films before. Public school money has gone to provide rooms for students to watch pornography. That potentially means that tax dollars were used to help out. I just don't understand who thought this was a good idea. Well actually I know who, the producers of the movie. They're getting free press which is probably what they were looking for. And from what I hear, pornography addictions are real, so there's the distinct possibility that they've got a few more customers off their "free" viewing.

I have more, but my battery is almost dead and it sounds like Chaselyn is waking up a little. We'll see if I get around to more posts later.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

On the other hand...

So, another Monday came and passed with another lively discussion at life group among the girlies. Again along the lines of wanting to stay at home instead of being at a seemingly pointless job. And then on the way home, I thought about it from a different perspective...

Could it be possible that we are just destined to be discontent. I mean as much as I think I want to be a stay-at -home mom, I also think about what that means as far as diminished grown-up interactions, increased patience levels, and a need to be more creative. Let's reduce the scale down a bit. The thought came to me after one of the LG members showed us her new Chi after some comments on her hair. Another confessed that the Chi had changed her life when she got it a few years ago. This tool that made curly or unweildy hair straight and manageable was a method to get to another "greener pasture". Another example, my sister and I constantly have discussions on how we grew up different because of the 9 year gap between us. One of the biggest differences - birthday cakes. We (my brothers and me) always had homemade cakes. Mom worked very hard to make them look pretty and she was quite gifted. Confectionary versions of ET, Smurfs, Strawberry Shortcake, and more of our favorite characters were made using shaped cake pans and some artistic license by my mom. But by the time my sister came around, mom had gone back to work so there was more money, and so Rachel got store bought cakes. We argue over the merits of each. She complains that mom never spent the time to make her cakes, I rebut about the tastiness and upgrade in variety of decoration (no offense mom) provided by the store bought cakes.

All this leads me to my point. I still believe that women are wired to be care takers. No question. But how we take care of people is up for interpretation. And this open-endedness of how we serve our family is what is driving me crazy. Will I always want things to be different? While right now I feel drawn to be at home with Chaselyn, after trying that out for a few months will I be at the same whining point of not being content with the path I chose? Will I be longing to exercise my mind on the same level that I have been over the past few years during my academic trials? I've seen my own discontentment in my life before many times. Oh I can't wait to go to college...

OK, now I'm in college, now I want to be married...

Done, now if I could just have a dog...

Well hello there little Holly!...Our dog is great, but now I think its time for kids...

Oh Chaselyn, you're amazing...Now all we need is a 3-br house with a yard and then I'll be totally content...
This is where we are in the never-ending cycle now. No matter what, I always want more. And I hate it. I don't dwell on the things I don't have too much. Well I don't dwell on them anymore. There was a period of time where I asked Stanton everyday when we were going to get married, and then another period of time where at least once a day I would ask Stanton "Guess what!" and he would reply "You want a dog" and I would give a big smile. But I have become generally content with where we are in our lives right now. Mainly because life is pretty great!

Ultimately, I try to let God take care of things, but that doesn't mean I don't sit around over analyzing things. And just because I may follow what I believe God is telling me to do, that doesn't mean I will necessarily be at peace with the decision 100% of the time (believe me God and I have had many conversations about the necessity of living His will in Waco). So, will I always think the grass is greener on the other side or just for a while be fully content in what I'm doing and where I am. I pray that I find peace when I am where God wants me to be.