Days 5 - 8

So I actually did write something on Saturday, but it was lost somehow the internets froze up and it was lost. On Saturday the 5th, I was thankful for football games and all the things that go along with it. I was thankful that on Friday night we were able to enjoy the homecoming festivities and that continued on Saturday with the parade. Up in Fayetteville, I know there was tailgating family and friends. And the weather in the fall is the perfect complement to the activities. Then there is the actual game. College football is my favorite sport. I think it's the young men giving it their all just for the honor of winning. On Sunday the 6th, I was very thankful for my church family. We recently found out that there is a good chance that we will be moving in the coming year. It tears my heart out to think about leaving my new family. I already had to leave my biological family a few years ago with the promise that we would be back in a few years. Of course that last part was not actually fulfilled, but by the time we realized that we wouldn't be going back to AR we had already gained a new family down here. This family has been with us through it all just as my biological family. They were there through 2 pregnancies, 2 babies, numerous prayer requests, and when I was diagnosed with cancer it was my church family who was able to take care of the little things so my biological family could focus on me and my needs. They have watched my kids. They fed my family. They have shared in our joy. They have shared in our sorrows. We have grown in the love of God so much while at this church, it is the first church I've been able to call home. On Monday the 7th, I was thankful for my Mommy. My mom came down to Waco again to help me take care of the kids and the house while I take my chemo. I love having my mom here. She just gets me. She understands how I think (you know because she raised me and all). She can commiserate with my cancer pains, since she herself has been fighting cancer since August 2010. She has managed to be away from her husband for weeks at a time, without complaint. She's there, or here, for me whenever I call. She's my Mommy and I'm just starting to find out what that really means. Today the 8th I am thankful for these ease of communication these days. I can write one post and people all over the world can read it. With email, text messages, cell phones, etc. we can quickly disperse information. Sometimes the information is important like the news of new babies on the way and sometimes it is just ridiculous and pointless. But no matter what you have to say there is a medium for you to get the message across.

Thankfulness

I attempted to write something at approximately 11:58 last night. But with only 2 minutes I didn't think I could do justice for anything that I'm really thankful for. So I just went to sleep. Yesterday I was thankful for my ability to walk. It's the little things. The things you don't even think about. The things you take for granted. I have been reminded of this through 2 very powerful ways this week. On Sunday as I stood to worship and raised my right arm, I realized that less than 6 months ago I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to do that again. Then on Wednesday, Chaselyn went to BSF with Mrs. Laura and came home having learned the story of Barnabas and Paul healing the lame man. The memory verse for the week is "He had faith to be healed" Acts 14:9. Again I was struck with an appreciation for my working legs. Today I am thankful for weekends. I can't wait for the weekend. My family spending time together. Watching some football. I think Stanton's even planning on grilling tonight. It's an amazing time. And then on Sunday we'll get up and go to church. We love our church family. Then Sunday afternoons are usually spent cleaning or resting. I love the weekends!

Today I am thankful for...

...this little guy.

Today is Jacob's 18 month birthday. It's kind of bittersweet as any milestone the kids reach is. But today I will choose to be happy with my growing boy. (Not sad about how time has passed.)

Yesterday I was thankful for hearing this song on the radio (Caution: If you know anyone going through a difficult time in their lives it will make you cry).






If you are already a sobbing mess like I was, then DO NOT watch this.



Matt Hammitt - Story Behind "All Of Me" by EMI_Music

I told you not to watch it.

I will attempt to write something everyday until Thanksgiving. Sometimes I'll write a lot sometimes just a sentence. Sometimes deep, sometimes silly. But I will try to at least share one thing I am thankful for.

The not so Family Feud

So I was kicking back in the transfusion chair today, minding my own business, trying to find something to watch on tv. When we came across "Family Feud". Seemed like a good way to pass the time. So we start watching innocently. The first question we heard was something like name something people do in the car to pass the time. Most of the answers were already up there, and they were trying to get the last one. When no one got it, they revealed the # 5 answer: "tickle his pickle". What? Stanton and I looked at each other in disbelief. We couldn't decide which was worse the fact that they would put that on Family Feud or that there is possibly 2 out of every 100 people who are doing this while on the road. We continued to watch. The next question was something like name something a husband would bring home that would upset his wife. I kid you not, #1 answer - another woman; #2 - STD's. Other questions were " men think about sex every 6 seconds, what do women think about?" and "name an article of clothing a man is likely to leave on during sex". What happened to the feud?

Is it the new host, Steve Harvey? I think he's partially to blame. I mean Drew Carey took over for Bob Barker and you don't see him making crude jokes. And there's Wayne Brady doing let's make a deal without saying things I wouldn't want my kids to hear. But it can't be all his fault. He may just be the only one willing to say those things on tv.

But who is truly to blame? People. If people didn't watch the show, it would go off air. If people didn't give answers like "tickle his pickle" it wouldn't show up. People are ridiculous.

So next time you are bored and wanting to pass the time in the afternoon, don't be one of those people contributing to the problem.

Back in the saddle

So you know how when you go without seeing or talking with some friends for a long time it's kind of awkward and it seems like so much has happened that you just stick with the regular small talk when you finally do talk to them again. But then there are other friends that regardless of how long it's been, you know that you could call them any time and pick up right where you left off and feel totally comfortable telling your deepest darkest secret. I am blessed to have 3 very special friends that fit the second description. These 3 friends were some of the first people called with the joyous news, like when I was giving birth, and with the not so fun news, like when I was diagnosed with cancer. These girls dropped everything they were doing and ran to my side. And these girlfriends can't just come by the house.

And how have I thanked these awesome ladies lately? By not responding to emails, being unavailable when they call, not posting blogs to let them know I'm ok, not even keeping a general update on Facebook, and pretty much being an all time bad friend. And I don't think I'll ever really know what it feels like to just not know how someone you love and care for who was recently diagnosed with cancer is doing. At least I hope I never do.

So to those very special ladies, I am sorry. I am sorry for any extra pain I may have caused by being so inconsiderate. I am sorry for leaving you wondering if I was ok. I will try to do better.

Thanks to the encouragement by one of those lovely chicas I have recommitted to my blog. I will keep all of blogland more up to date with the goings on in the Greer home. And going back to what I thought I was going write about. I started the blog wanting to contrast two types pf friends and compare that to how I feel about blogging again. I was afraid to get back in the saddle, but after writing, I don't think that will be a problem.

Enough already about me... What about the kids?

My kids are amazing! Chaselyn is more brilliant and wonderful and beautiful and creative and just plain cute than I ever was or will be. And Jacob is more adventurous and crafty and smart and handsome and exciting and just plain cute than I ever was or will be. Both of them are learning so many new things everyday. I am really sad that I haven't blogged about their milestones over the past three months. So if you aren't into hearing about how wonderful my kids are, you should stop reading now.



Let's start with Jacob, since he is 1.25 years old today. The last post I wrote for him was his one year post. WoW! What a difference 3 months makes. He was just starting to put steps together and walk then. Now I can't keep up with him, literally. He's too fast for Mommy. He loves to run around and chase Chaselyn, Daddy, Holly or anything else that moves. He's a daredevil too. He likes to stand on the sit-n-spin and do a little dance. He climbs on everything. He's most entertained by playing with Chaselyn's toys when she's not around. A close second is anything electronic - phones, remotes, cords, computers, etc. And he's good at finding things too. Forgot where you put that gross/dangerous/poisonous someone should call CPS item? Jacob will find it. And the boy loves the water. The splash park is the latest big hit in Jacob's world. It took him a couple of trips to figure it out, but last time we went, he was running through all of the little squirters. And he still loves bath time. Ducky got a little spray mister too that he loves. And if it weren't 1000 degrees outside, we would let the little guy have more water fun.

Now, I don't want you to think that the boy is just "all boy" and nothing more, he's smart too. He knows how to say Daddy, Mommy, and Ducky. He can bark like a dog on command (Chaselyn taught him that) and he knows how to moo (we're currently trying to get him to connect that to a cow). Jacob is not easily fooled either. There is no out of sight out of mind with him. He knows where the food is supposed to be. He knows where his paci's are supposed to be (only in his bed). And he'll tell you all about it if they aren't there. He has taken to screaming when he's upset, which we aren't too fond of. The daycare said that there a couple of screamers in his class, so they figured he was mimicking them.

What would make Jacob upset you ask? Not eating. The boy is a bottomless pit. I am seriously concerned about the boy as a teenager. He can put away 3 hot dogs, a half can of veggies, some bread, and some fruit in one sitting. It is amazing and kind of scary all at the same time. But during the last 3 months, he's cut his molars, so it's no wonder the man child wants some steak. And you would think with all of that the boy would be a little tank toddling around with the chubby legs and squishy arms. But no, Jacob has never had the little baby fat rolls. He gets a little poochy belly after he eats, but it's gone within an hour. He is still  in size 3 diapers and size 12 month clothes. I don't know where all the food goes. Speaking of diapers, we have to keep pants on Jacob so that he keeps his diaper on. I don't think he is trying to take his diaper off he just likes to play with it and try to push it down. That's not clear, but I know what I mean. We've only had one incidence so far of finding a naked boy. And even then he was contained to his crib after a nap. (Side note upon entering the room Chaselyn at eye level with Jacob's boy parts asked "What's that kind of booty?" After containing the laughter we simply said it's the boy kind. She seemed to be appeased. They have taken countless baths together, so I was kind of taken off guard.)

So there you have it, that's my 15 month old boy. Like I said, he's doing new things everyday. And one of the things that has been a bother to me with my current condition is that I haven't been able to interact with the kids as much as I would like. I feel like I'm missing out with Jacob a lot because he is so busy and mobile. But, he still calls me Momma and smiles and bats his beautiful long eyelashes with his amazingly blue eyes and my heart still melts.

Oh, I almost forgot, last week we took him for his first haircut. That aged him by like 2 years in 2 seconds. Please see the photos below.

Now, for my precious daughter. Chaselyn is (almost) 2.75 years old going on 5 years old. She is growing and learning too fast. Let's start with the growing, she's recently needed a wardrobe change to upgrade to 3T (and sometimes 4T) clothes. I have stretched the 24m and 2T about as far as they can go. And remember  I mentioned those red shoes, those were size 5. She's now in size 7 shoes. She's just over 3 feet tall and she's loosing her baby fat. Chaselyn had the chubby little legs as a baby, but she's thinning out and looking more and more like a little kid every day.

But it has been so fun these past few months to have time to do special things with her and just to be around her as she's learning. She has really found a lot of joy in song. Between figuring out how to turn her cd's on for herself, vacation bible school at CABC and Ducky's encouragement to sing, the girl knows more songs than I do. We have now added singing songs as part of the bedtime ritual. Which was immediately followed by a 2 song limit on the singing at bedtime. One of her favorites is the friend song. I think that Ducky made it up, but the words are simple "I've got a friend named Chaselyn, Chaselyn, Chaselyn. I've got a friend named Chaselyn. She's my friend." We start with our best friend Jesus, then we go through the family - Chaselyn, Jacob, Mommy, Daddy. Then we sing for anyone else staying in the house which has ranged from 1 extra person up to 4 extra people. Then she picks "one" more friend to add. This "one" is often a lump of people, like "Caroline, Chris, and MaryAnn" or "Natalie and Isaac", or she'll pull out a family member that came to visit us, like "Aunt Charlik (Charlotte)" or "My Leslie". Another part of bedtime is prayers. The girl has learned to pray for others, she's learned to ask God to heal her, she's learned to pray for her "whole fampily". Nothing can replace those sweet moments.

Now it's not all about the bedtime in our house. Just stand back and watch Chaselyn go. She's a very loving sister, sometimes to a fault. She will sit and "read" a book by herself for 15 minutes. She loves to play with her kitchen and cook for people. She is so creative too. One day the same set of beads was a jump rope, a swing, a tail, and a big necklace. And don't even ask about the fun of a large cardboard box or the empty cabinets she and Jacob play in. She loves to play outside too. Again, with the heat this had been a little harder. But she still runs around the house. She also loves some down time too. She likes to be read to and to cuddle up and watch movies. Even in the extreme heat, she still wants to snuggle with blankets.

 

Here are some of the favorite quotes from our little girl:

Re: My baptism - "Did Pastor Jay help you put your hair in the water?" This was said obviously after my baptism and noticing my hair had fallen out.

Re: MaryAnn - "She's gonna call me Cake. I'm not Cake, I'm Chaselyn." This was said as a kind of thinking out loud situation on the way home from school.

Re: A name for her new Rocking Horse - "Fredit" and "Dugah"

Re: Going up a hill in AR - "We're leaning back!"

Re: playing a game of memory - "You don't have to be here." Said to Ducky to let her know that she could do it on her own.

Re: hearts - "It's a heart for loving you."

Re: Jacob - "JAAAAA-COOOOOOB!!!! Where are you?"



Oh, there is so much more. But I forget. You just all need to come spend a day with us to see how marvelous our kids are.

Something I need to share...

Matthew 9: 1-8 (ESV)

And getting into a boat he crossed over and came to his own city. And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven." And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, "This man is blaspheming." But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, "Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins"—he then said to the paralytic—"Rise, pick up your bed and go home." And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men.

 

I have been wanting to share this passage with all of you for a while. I gives me great hope, joy and peace to know that we serve a loving God who has already done so much for us. And yet he continues to pour out blessing upon blessing everyday. This little interaction between Jesus and the paralytic has given me a greater vision for what is really important.

Stanton and I weren't sure how much of my brain function I would have during all of this, so he started reading the bible to me when I couldn't really do so for myself. By the time we got home from the hospital, I could follow along in my Bible and start getting more out of it (I'm a visual learner). And by the next week I could read, understand, and felt more empowered to continue my walk with Jesus. All of that to say, Stanton just started in the New Testament with Matthew and so, that's where I have continued to stay.

Reading through Matthew is simply awe inspiring. Things take on a new meaning when you are hit with a life threatening cancer. I was amazed and a little embarrassed at how little I had appreciated these stories before. Jesus healed a lot of people! And with each story of healing, I became more and more assured of his grace and mercy for his children. Not only did he heal people, but he fed thousands, multiple times with only a few loaves of bread and a couple of straggly fish. That's right, God is the ultimate provider too. He cares for us on such a deep level, that he is even concerned for our most basic human need - food.

But, then amidst all of the miraculous healings, feedings, walking on water, etc. He reminds us of what He has already done. "Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven." Amen! The paralytic does not need to be healed, his sins have been forgiven. He has a ticket to the kingdom of God! Any trials on this earth pale in comparison to the joy it will be when we reach heaven. Jesus has provided a way for us to enter into the holiest of places despite our wretched sin.

He goes on to say, "Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins"—he then said to the paralytic—"Rise, pick up your bed and go home." The words couldn't have hit me harder if the Bible literally smacked me in the face. Which is easier? Option A - forgive all of your sins so that you can one day enter heaven or Option B- heal a man of some piddly little paralyzation. In my desire for God to heal me and leave me on this earth for a few more years, I had lost sight of how much he has already done for me. God sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross and bear the weight of our sin. So, that by believing in Him, our sins would be forgiven, and we can spend an eternity in the presence of the almighty God. WOW! And I was worried about some brain cancer. Even if God doesn't heal me, the end result is that I get to spend an eternity praising and worshiping the great I AM?! That's not a bad second option for me.

The extra good news is that Jesus does heal the paralyzed man. After forgiving him of his sins, he still performs another miracle and relieves the man from his earthly physical disability. Because Jesus was completely man and completely God, he knows both sides of the story. He knows the pains that this earth can bring. He knows the emotions of being human. And while on this earth, he felt the physical pains of beatings. His death was absolutely gruesome. So, he understands completely what it is to live on this earth. And, he continues to pour out his grace, peace, and mercy every day for those who believe in him.

As I have said, this passage has focused me in on what is really important. A miracle has already been performed in my life beyond any physical healing. I believe that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, born of the virgin Mary, was crucified, dead and buried. After 3 days he rose from his tomb and ascended into heaven. I believe that Jesus' blood shed at his "death" was payment in full for all of my sins. I believe that the only way to enter the kingdom of heaven is through a personal relationship with the one who took away my sins.

Lord Jesus,

       I pray that if there is anyone out there reading this who has not accepted You as their Lord and Savior that they would do so right now. That they would fall, broken and repenting of their sin, before Holy God, creator and sustainer of the universe, the author of life. That they would come to know you and the love that you have for them. Soften hearts this very day, this very moment. Continue to pour out your grace, peace, and mercy upon all of us. Let the Holy Spirit blow through the souls of everyone who reads this so that they may hear your words speaking to them.

Lord, I thank you for the many blessings that you have given me. I am thankful for this affliction because of the many blessings that have come out of it.  I thank you for each and every person who has prayed for my healing. I am so overwhelmed by your power and might. I am in awe of how vast your kingdom is on Earth. Lord God, I pray that you will hear the prayers on my behalf and just remove the tumor from my brain. I praise you Father for blessing each new day here on Earth with a new opportunity to live for you. Amen.

Thank you all for joining me on this journey. If there is anything I can do or pray for you, please don't hesitate to ask. Feel free to email me at TeamBASG@gmail.com.