Friday, May 25, 2012


Today I am super thankful for the overwhelming outpouring of prayers over the past year. I reflected yesterday about what the last year has done for me, and I am a totally different person than I was. Stanton is totally different than he was. But the amazing part is that we are closer to God than ever before and we are closer to each other than ever before. It's been an amazing journey. And to see the grace that God has bestowed upon us has been nothing short of a miracle. I remember praying with him before my biopsy surgery, but I don't remember the "run to the body" part. I remember him always being positive when he was near. I remember crying with him and him holding me. He has been my rock through all of this. It's is simply awe inspiring to see how the Creator is working in his life every day.

As you well know, I am celebrating year 1 AD (after diagnosis), my previous life is affectionately referred to as BC (before cancer). Unfortunately, I was pretty doped up a year ago and don't remember much of the days or the exact order that things played out, but I do remember the people who were there. The powerful outpouring of love and support for and from those who are most important in my life. From family to friends, you all came and prayed over me. And just sat with me. Most specifically, I remember seeing MA in the hallway at Hillcrest hospital in Waco. I had no idea that she was coming. And as she approached my room, I was moved to tears. I don't remember what happened exactly in the next few seconds, but she did not make it into my room. I think there may have been a sign left on my door to say that I was resting. But as I watched her walk away I wasn't resting, I was bawling like a baby. I also remember having one of the most meaningful prayer times in my life at Zale Lipschy. Three of my best friends ever gathered around and prayed over me. Allison, Alycia, and MaryAnn poured out their hearts to the God of the universe in one of the most impactful moments of my life. I remember Meredith and the Besancon's visiting me too. I remember my Uncle Philip and Aunt Sandy bringing the whole family dinner. I remember church friends making the trek from Waco, just to say hi for a few minutes. I remember hearing reports of the collective of people caring for my kids. I remember having all of my siblings gathered around my bed. I remember my dad staying with me one night when Stanton went home to be with the kids. I remember the care and concern on my moms face. I will treasure these memories forever. But it pains me to know that they were all hurting so much just outside my door. Everyone put on a brave face for me, but it didn't really hit me until almost a month later that there was a lot of pain and despair. And while I appreciated everyone being strong for me, it absolutely grieves me to think of the pain that they must have felt.

But today, as I sit here in the various waiting rooms writing this blog. I am still absolutely amazed by the number of people who have been praying for me over this past year. People I don't even know have shared on caring bridge that they have been praying for me because we have a common friend. There are over 30,000 visits to my caring bridge site. I am so humbled by this. Simply humbled by the abundance of care and compassion put forth by family, friends, and complete strangers. And I thank God for this trial, because of the immense blessings and amazing memories it has brought me.

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