Thursday, June 23, 2011

Worlds are collidng

One of the most amazing parts of having brain cancer is that all of the people who matter most are drawn together to come and see you. And they get to meet and it's like a big party where all of the people I know from all different points of time in my life are thrown together. It's fun to see my friends from Waco meet my family from Arkansas. I wish they could have met under different circumstances obviously, but I feel so blessed by the whole interaction, it's one of the many silver linings I cling to.

Most recently we had a house full of visitors including my dad, my sister, her boyfriend, my friend MA, as well as the usual family of four plus our two moms. We had fun playing Wii, watching movies, eating way too much food, and just hanging out. As I type, I imagine people are packing up their stuff for a family reunion of sorts involving Stanton's mom's side of the family. There are approximately 30-35 people coming to Waco for the weekend. It's amazing!

I have definitely been feeling the effects of all the drugs in my system. Some days are bad, some days are ok. I just reduced my steroids from 4 pills a day to 3 pills a day, I thought that would help me sleep better, but it didn't last night. I feel tired and weak all the time. I'm getting weaker too, which bothers me to no end. I was doing so good. I'm still able to function on my own, but I can't really get down on the floor any more to play with the kids. The doctors said that this would happen, as the radiation kills the tumor cells, they will swell. The swelling puts pressure on my brain, which turns off my right side. I still have complete control of all my limbs and can move them on demand, which is more than I could do in the hospital. But I am just worried that as I get weaker, I won't realize it and I'll try to do too much and not be safe. I know how stubborn I can be.

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