Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hair today...gone tomorrow...or maybe not

Hello, my name is Brandi. (This is where you all in unison say "Hi Brandi".) I am a decision phobe.

There, I said it. And admitting the problem is the first step, right? Now, this decision phobia is not in concerns to big commitments like marriage or raising children. Those things are no brainers in my book. So what has me all in a tizzy today? My hair.

Yes, I know, hair shouldn't be a big commitment issue, it grows back. But it's the initial decision that makes me quiver. I've been growing my hair out for quite a long time. And it actually still looks pretty healthy. I was advise by several moms before Chaselyn was born that I should grow my hair out because I would want to chop it off when she started pulling and yanking at it. Well, I survived baby one, but with two, my hair seems to be in my way more. So, my initial thought was that my hair would be gone as soon as I was done with my wedding obligations. But now, I can't let it go. I want my hair out of my way, but I like my long hair. I've had my hair short, I look different. And in my opinion, I look thinner with long hair. Right now, that's important to me. So that's what's keeping me from chopping it off. I am more out of shape than I have ever been in my life. It's more than just baby weight, it's a health issue. i don't want to make a change in my appearance that will make me feel even bigger, but my hair is getting in my way.

That's where I am today. Trying to reason between practicality and vanity. Vanity is winning mainly because if I decide to cut it I then have to make another decision as to how to get it cut. (If you have any suggestions, let me know.)

I'm also currently undecided on my hair, wall paint colors, bathroom decor for kids, vacation activities, and my life goals in general. So there you have it. My most up to date psychosis.


  1. Hi Brandi! ;)

    I've never seen you with short hair but I remember seeing some pictures. I thought it was really cute! And, you have the perfect hair for a bob:

    Just some suggestions. Hope you're doing well and enjoying your new SAHM status!! (I'm a little envious!!)

  2. I love those pictures! I agree that you'd look cute with the bob!
    I understand the struggle though - I'm caught in the same debate. Except that I think I look thinner with short hair. Maybe I'm crazy, but maybe not. I say go for it!!

  3. Hi. I'm MA. And I l.o.v.e. making decisions. Those that are mine to make, as well as others. Siblings, parents, friends, strangers... doesn't really matter. I'll make decisions for you (whether I tell you about it or just keep it internal) if you stand still long enough. It's what made me such a superior oldest sibling. ;)

    I love your hair. You know this. But there's also another perspective and I totally understand where you're coming from. Keeping that in mind - I'll share a little nugget from 2004.

    I had long hair when Caro was born, and as she got older she started pulling at it occasionally, but most of the discomfort associated with the long hair stemmed from Texas heat and spending so much of my time bending down/over. When I did decide to cut it all off, Caro was 10 months old and I was still hovering at 20-25 pounds over where I wanted to be. I did NOT love my body, and I struggled with how WEAK I was feeling from lack of exercise.

    Despite that, I cut 16 inches off during a weekend trip to see Marlo. The feeling was exhilarating to have it GONE. Then I felt older. Then I felt naked. I didn't realize how much I was hiding behind my hair. It was my sheild. It covered my body when everyone else was walking around in tank tops. It covered my face when I sat in a meeting that I was unsure of.

    I think a measure of that is natural, but I could tell pretty quickly from the level of discomfort I was experiencing that I had been using my hair as a crutch. It may seem ridiculous, but it's true.

    For me, it was the push I needed to prioritize my health. That included getting about 15-20 minutes of sun every day, working on my posture and making sure I was "walking tall", and some additional focus on my eating habits and activity level.

    I know it's different for everyone. I just wanted to share my experience with you - if nothing else it might serve as an illustration that for women, a conversation about hair can have deeper implications than those portrayed in a shampoo commercial. I completely understand why this is something you're having trouble moving forward with this decision...

    Either way, your hair will be beautiful and shiny, your laugh will be contagious, and your voice will so full of joy that anyone around you wants to be your friend.

  4. MaryAnn, great advice.
    Maybe you can go shoulder length. Can still be put back in a pony tail and then let down when you want. Arm yourself with pictures of what you like and go to a nice expensive hair place. I think it's totally worth the splurge, you want to walk away confident! You can give the experienced woman an idea of what you want and you can talk with her about options.