Lately when I see people I get two questions "How are you feeling?" usually followed up by "Are you ready?" To the first question, I'm feeling good. As I hinted at before. I'm not doing as great this time around. I feel big and fat more often than I did with Chaselyn. I have a lot more heartburn. And my lower back feels like there's a vertebrae popped out of socket sometimes. But, all things considered. I'm actually doing good. I can't and won't complain too much. Concerning the second question, I can honestly say that yes I am ready. I can't wait to meet the little guy. We've got the essentials covered. There's still plenty of little things I haven't done yet, but if he came tomorrow, we would be just fine (he can't come today, Stanton is out of town - that is not OK). So everything is hunkie-doory right? Not so much.
See I'm just now starting to realize what I'm going to put Chaselyn through and I don't like it. As Stanton said in his 16 month update post, Chaselyn has had some trouble adapting to the new class at daycare. I'm happy to report that she has adjusted to the nap time issues very nicely. And today for the first time, she didn't even make her sad, crying face when I dropped her off. I also stuck around and got to see one of the other little girls in the class come over and hold Chaselyn's hand and try to lead her over to the toys. Thanks little Hayden! Chaselyn didn't budge, but I very much enjoyed to see her classmate reach out in such a sweet innocent way. Not too much after that though, another little girl came over and pushed Chaselyn. No thank you little Kate. Chaselyn just stood there for that too. Then it was breakfast time and all was well with the world. All that to say, Chaselyn has recently demonstrated that she doesn't adapt quickly to change. And her crazy parents decided to push a baby brother on her. Thanks mom & dad.
Chaselyn has also been such the little Mommy's girl lately. I love that she hugs me and gives me kisses and that I can be a comfort to her when she's afraid. But what about when Jacob comes? First, I'm going to be out of pocket for an indeterminate length of time during the actual birth. Then, I'll be in the hospital for a couple days and recovering for a few more. I won't be able to pick her up as easily or play on the floor like I do now for a while. That doesn't seem fair. Not only that but while I'm not picking her up and not playing with her, I'll be giving lots of attention to this new baby. So what do I do? I know I'll make a special effort to do as much as I can for her, but I'm afraid it won't be enough.
And none of that really even deals with the fact that there will be a new person in the house. Now, Chaselyn is very interested in babies that we see on occasion. She's very gentle with them and smiles and is just sweetly curious. But if this new, cute thing is also changing her world as she knows it, she may not think so highly of the little man. And I don't know what to do about that.
So, yes, I am ready for Jacob. But I'm not sure I'm prepared to handle the needs of two kids. But at this point, I don't really know of anything else I can do make myself feel more prepared. So, I'll just keep looking for opportunities to help smooth the transition and pray that everything works out.
If you have any tips, I'd love to hear.
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