Stanton and I started dating on this date when we were both just 15. You can read about how it all went down here. And read me gushing about our relationship here. But this year in early August, I can officially celebrate being with my husband for half of my life. I still can't believe it. Most people won't be able to say that until their late 40's or early 50's. And when we get that old, we'll be able to claim spending over 2/3 of our lives together. But for now, I am getting close to passing the mark where I can say I've spent a majority of my life with Stanton.That warms my heart to think about.
It's not just about us being together for that long though, we've experienced a lot of things together, grown up together, and we have made a lot of memories together. We don't just finish each others sentences, we have the same crazy thoughts at the same time. And as much as I dislike it sometimes I can get in his head (it's a scary place) and know exactly what he is thinking. And he can do the same with me.
Over the past few months he has shown just how much he loves me. It turns out that when you are diagnosed with brain cancer, suddenly everyone just wants to tell you and show you how much they love you. But I had no idea how much Stanton truly loved me until I saw his reaction to me being severely sick. I used to ask him all the time (literally I would ask him at least once a day) "Do you love me?" or "How much do you love me?" I don't let those words come out of my mouth any more. Because I am secure in the love that my husband has for me. I don't even say "I love you more", because I don't think that it is true. From dealing with just the sheer amount of emotional drain that my diagnosis put on him, to helping me bathe, to making sure all the bills were paid, to researching my specific type of cancer and studying hard to know what is best, Stanton has exhibited his love in so many wonderful and deep ways, I feel blessed to have him by my side.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Long time, no type...
So it's Fat Tuesday and after promising to blog more, I got hung up on one post and just couldn't get past it. I will go back and complete that post later, because it was the post for Chaselyn's third birthday. I have done so much since my last post, went to Disney World, learned that 2 of my very best friends are pregnant, celebrated Christmas in my own home for the first time ever, saw a marked decrease in the size of my tumor, and had great times just hanging out with the kids. Speaking of kids, have you seen my kids lately? They are huge! And doing more and more amazing things everyday!
And that is my handsome husband with my little sweeties. We got them "Lady and the Tramp" for Valentines day and this is how they watched it...snuggled up on the couch, under the hog blanket. Jacob didn't last too long he doesn't have the patience for a movie, but Chaselyn snuggled her Daddy to sleep.
I love being home and having the opportunity to see little moments like these throughout the day. Most of the time the good stuff far outweighs the bad. There are those days full of poopy diapers, screaming matches, and toy stealing where I get flustered, but overall I think I'm doing OK.
As far as the cancer goes, we've settled into a routine and will stick with this routine for the foreseeable future. I have a 28 day cycle where I take chemo pills for the first 5 days and then I'm off for the other 23. I've been trying to implement a low glycemic diet too as suggested by a nutritional oncologist. But I found that there weren't a lot of good snack options for me. So I would have a hard time eating a full meal, especially the week after chemo, and I would hardly eat anything at all. So we figured out for the 5 days I take the chemo, I can only have meat and vegetables throughout the day and then at night when I take my pills I can eat anything, especially sugar. The idea in doing this, according to the nutritional oncologist, is to starve the cancer cells so that they get really hungry and then when I take the chemo and eat the sugar, the cancer cells try to eat the sugar and end up munching on the chemo too. For the week immediately following my chemo I allow myself to have anything I want as long as I keep eating. Then I transition back to the low glycemic index diet for the last 2 weeks. Then start all over again. I get my brain scanned every 2 months. When I went in January, the scan showed a decrease in the size of the tumor and a thinning of the tumor walls. Praise the Lord!
So I'm back. Again. And this time it won't be so easy to get rid of me! I've given up FaceBook for lent. And have committed to reading the Bible more and blogging more. So now that I've made it public, I have to do it.
And that is my handsome husband with my little sweeties. We got them "Lady and the Tramp" for Valentines day and this is how they watched it...snuggled up on the couch, under the hog blanket. Jacob didn't last too long he doesn't have the patience for a movie, but Chaselyn snuggled her Daddy to sleep.
I love being home and having the opportunity to see little moments like these throughout the day. Most of the time the good stuff far outweighs the bad. There are those days full of poopy diapers, screaming matches, and toy stealing where I get flustered, but overall I think I'm doing OK.
As far as the cancer goes, we've settled into a routine and will stick with this routine for the foreseeable future. I have a 28 day cycle where I take chemo pills for the first 5 days and then I'm off for the other 23. I've been trying to implement a low glycemic diet too as suggested by a nutritional oncologist. But I found that there weren't a lot of good snack options for me. So I would have a hard time eating a full meal, especially the week after chemo, and I would hardly eat anything at all. So we figured out for the 5 days I take the chemo, I can only have meat and vegetables throughout the day and then at night when I take my pills I can eat anything, especially sugar. The idea in doing this, according to the nutritional oncologist, is to starve the cancer cells so that they get really hungry and then when I take the chemo and eat the sugar, the cancer cells try to eat the sugar and end up munching on the chemo too. For the week immediately following my chemo I allow myself to have anything I want as long as I keep eating. Then I transition back to the low glycemic index diet for the last 2 weeks. Then start all over again. I get my brain scanned every 2 months. When I went in January, the scan showed a decrease in the size of the tumor and a thinning of the tumor walls. Praise the Lord!
So I'm back. Again. And this time it won't be so easy to get rid of me! I've given up FaceBook for lent. And have committed to reading the Bible more and blogging more. So now that I've made it public, I have to do it.
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